Friday, February 27, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
18th February 2009
NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever')..
(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever')..
(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
Monday, February 16, 2009
16th February 2009
TOP TEN RECESSION QUOTES:
1. The US has made a new weapon that destroys people, but keeps the building intact. It's called the stock market - Jay Leno
2. Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street - Jay Leno
3. The difference between a pigeon and a London investment banker: The pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW.
4. What's the difference between a guy who lost everything in Las Vegas and an investment banker? A tie!
5. The problem with investment bank balance sheet is that on the left side nothing's right, and on the right side nothing's left.
6. I want to warn people from Nigeria who might be watching our show, if you get any emails from Washington asking for money, it's a scam. Don't fall for it - Jay Leno
7. Bush was asked about the credit crunch. He said it was his favourite candy bar - Jay Leno
8. The rescue bill was about 450 pages. President Bush's copy is even thicker. They had to include pictures - Jay Leno
9. President Bush's response was to meet some small business owners in San Antonio last week. The small business owners are General Motors,General Electric and Century 21 - Jay Leno
10. What worries me most about the credit crunch is that if one of my cheques is returned stamped 'insufficient funds', I won't know whetherthat refers to mine or the bank's.
1. The US has made a new weapon that destroys people, but keeps the building intact. It's called the stock market - Jay Leno
2. Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street - Jay Leno
3. The difference between a pigeon and a London investment banker: The pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW.
4. What's the difference between a guy who lost everything in Las Vegas and an investment banker? A tie!
5. The problem with investment bank balance sheet is that on the left side nothing's right, and on the right side nothing's left.
6. I want to warn people from Nigeria who might be watching our show, if you get any emails from Washington asking for money, it's a scam. Don't fall for it - Jay Leno
7. Bush was asked about the credit crunch. He said it was his favourite candy bar - Jay Leno
8. The rescue bill was about 450 pages. President Bush's copy is even thicker. They had to include pictures - Jay Leno
9. President Bush's response was to meet some small business owners in San Antonio last week. The small business owners are General Motors,General Electric and Century 21 - Jay Leno
10. What worries me most about the credit crunch is that if one of my cheques is returned stamped 'insufficient funds', I won't know whetherthat refers to mine or the bank's.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
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